I spent the afternoon together with a group of moms, helping our combined passel of kids complete a big project. When we returned home, my daughter commented innocently enough, “Why don’t you use that voice at home?” “What voice?” I asked curiously. “That NICE voice. The one you used when you helped the other kids. We get the mean voice at home.”
I laughed, “You only get my mean voice when you ignore my nice voice,” I explain, and this summer it feels like I’ve had to bring out the mean voice a lot. It seems like the nice voice fades to the background like white noise, especially when I ask the kids to take the dog for a walk, set the table for dinner, or feed the cats. This summer, the nice voice has had to take a back seat to the mean voice in order to be heard above the sultry sounds of the Disney Channel, or the compelling pull of video games.
Often, the honey-sweet sound of my sarcastic voice makes an appearance in place of the nice voice. Usually, this voice makes an appearance when the kids ask me to take them swimming, or to have a friend sleep over after they’ve ignored my multitude of nice-sounding reminders all day. “Sure, honey. I’d be happy to drop everything I’m doing and make a special trip for you. Right after you finish all that stuff you’ve been ignoring all day.” The sarcastic voice usually garners more than a few grumbles.
While my sarcastic voice generally works with my elder, more responsible child, there’s no denying that my youngest is a slacker. If she had her way, she’d rather pass on the fun plans then get to work. This means that, eventually, the mean voice makes another appearance, coupled with a frenzy of hand gestures to add emphasis. By the time she decides to get something done, I’ve already turned into a raving lunatic.
This doesn’t happen often, but when it does, everyone knows they’d better straighten up. While in my mind, I silently concede that at that particular moment that I have become my mother, and, as she threatened long ago, I’ve had a child who is exactly like me.
“Yeah, I think I like the nice voice better,” she remarked. Well, after having yelled my fool head off to goad her into action, I couldn’t agree more.
